coolmite

Of course, I’m joking when I say this, but I’m really not joking in terms of how much time I spend playing fantasy baseball, football and soccer. It doesn’t amount to much productivity in the workplace when I’m stressing over a Jeff Francoeur for Ryan Church and Brandon Lyon trade.  Add my obsessive compulsive nature and I’m hitting the screen refresh button every few minutes.

So why not have fantasy work? Instead of picking the batter with the best on-base percentage, why can’t I pick donors and see how far I can move them along the moves management continuum? The categories could include ‘lowest argument percentage’, ‘highest number of objections’; and on my side, I could have number of closes, number of asks and number of meetings. I’ve been looking at my work entirely wrong! I need to make it a game.  This could work.  Check back later and I’ll have the rules worked out somehow.

I use LinkedIn quite a bit.  It’s a professional networking site–like MySpace but without the soft core porn and teenagers.  So far, I have 228 contacts from former jobs, former schools and now, former relationships.

I ran across someone that I knew from my days at Ohio University.  Let’s call her “X.”  I met X at a party at my house during junior year.  I got to know her a little bit and we mainly fooled around for the most part.  It was friends with benefits.  All was right with the universe.

And then, came Halloween.

The celebration at OU for Halloween is not to be missed.  Tens of thousands of rowdy students from all over Ohio, Pennsylvania and West Virginia appear like zombies from the grave from Thursday night to Saturday night with the culmination of fraternizing taking place on Court St.  The Friday night just so happened to be my 21st birthday.  We held a party, in my honor, but also to my chagrin, because I had to buy kegs after losing a bet to my housemate, Ben, that the Oakland A’s would sweep the Cincinnati Reds in the World Series.  My brother, Tim, and our friend, P.J., also trekked down for the party.  At 11:30 p.m., my friend, Tommy, and my housemate, Britton, took me uptown to throw shots down my throat and to watch the embarrasment ensue.

Meanwhile, back at the Greenhouse, my brother got into a deep conversation with X.  She explained that she enjoyed being with me, but she still had feelings for another guy who was at OU and at the party.  Tim was having none of this.  In no uncertain terms, he told X that I would never date her seriously, because she wasn’t worthy of me.  It’s one of the only times Tim has ever defended me that I know of and I appreciate it to this day, even if he was a bit overzealous.  Evidently, X became upset and pushed my brother down the flight of stairs from my room to the living room.  He cracked his kneecap and tore some cartilage.  I woke up the next morning enraged after seeing my brother with his leg up and hearing his story. WTF? This simply would not do.

I called X and her roommates answered the phone.  “Put her on,” I said.  After a few minutes of back and forth cajoling, X answered the phone.  I asked her what she was thinking.  I remember her sobbing–and looking back on it, she really did sound sorry–but my anger really didn’t allow me to empathize with her over what could have been a drunken accident in some people’s eyes.  I did the unthinkable.  I dropped the “C” bomb on her and hung up.  We got Tim some crutches, Advil, and a fifth of Jack Daniels.  He was going to enjoy Halloween, by God, if I had anything to say about it.

I was friends with some of X’s friends and her surrogates battled verbally with me and my surrogates for a couple of weeks.  Eventually, X and I became sociable.  She started dating one of my fraternity brothers, which, I was OK with.  We even hooked up once later that spring.  The only later interaction I really ever had with her was during my senior year, when she was a sorority member and sister to a girl I’d been dating all year.  X told my girlfriend that I’d break her heart.  A petty comment at the time, but the breakup I had with that girl still hurts me to this day. That’s another story for another time.  Other than running into X in a bar in Toledo, I hadn’t seen hide nor hair of her for fifteen years.

Then I found her on LinkedIn.  She lives in Chicago, of all places, which is weird, since I lived there for four years and got married there.  Lincoln Park and Wrigleyville are smaller than you think; with my luck, we should have run into each other.  She works for an ad agency and is in a position to be doing well. I don’t know anything else about her or her life.

Should I?  What’s past is past, obviously, but I always like to see how people mature over time–myself included. I’d like to send her an e-mail just to see how her life is going, but I won’t, because that kind of communication only invites trouble. What’s past is past. I truly do wish her well.  Our meeting and relationship (of sorts) really wasn’t meant to be treated well by fate, but if we had just met today professionally, I bet might have liked her as a friend or a co-worker.

So if you read this, X, I’m doing OK, pretty great, actually.  You can look through the rest of my blog for the rest.  I hope life is treating you well and that you are happy.

Now, I can put that ghost to bed without even saying hello, again.

Hey, all.  It’s been a while.  Life has been interesting and busy.  On the work front, I’m bringing in the cash (or pledges)! This job is fun when I really apply myself.  At home, life is also good.  I joined Weight Watchers over the weekend and went to my first meeting.  Between this endeavor and other therapy, I should have all demons exorcised in about 50 years.  Of course, I’m kidding.  The weight loss is the tough one, but I like how WW breaks it down into points so you can control portion size and play it like it’s a game.  I’m hoping to drop about 35-40 pounds, so wish me luck!  Karyn is doing well.  She’s happy that I’m taking an interest in my health.  My kids are awesome.  Vivi is going to be the most socially adjusted kindergartener to ever go to school.  I hope the school we’re sending her to is worth it.  Everyone we’ve been talking to says that the bar is higher at our other option, which costs a lot more.  We’ll see.  Jimmy is doing well too.  He’ll bring home things from preschool that I would have sworn my five-year old would have done, yet he’s the one bringing this art and work home.  Cecelia is growing.  She’s about 12 pounds now.  She coos and smiles–and drools–like a champ.  Her name was in the New York Times crossword puzzle yesterday.  They used that alternative spelling–Cecilia.  Whatever.

 Can we have some good weather, please?  I would love for it not to snow on my wife’s birthday in April?

I learned a lot last month.  Here’s some of it.

I learned that second opinions are a good thing.  If someone who’s an expert recommends that you take a course of action that you think is a bit dicey, it’s ok to get another opinion.  What a concept!  I don’t wish to go into detail about it, but surprisingly, I’m better off for having done so.

I’ve learned that habits are hard to break.  Mine–well, one of mine–is procrastination.  John Dryden said “We first make our habits and then our habits make us.”  He’s right.  I’m trying to figure out whether it’s best to figure out how I started with such bad habits or if I should just say screw it, and plow ahead with new ones.  I can’t decide!  I’ll start tomorrow.

I’ve learned that kindergarten is a new beginning.  My daughter, Vivian, starts all-day kindergarten in the fall.  I can’t believe she’ll already be six in October.  She was just a toddler yesterday!  Tomorrow, she’ll be dancing with the Joffrey Ballet.  I hope that’s what she gets, but I suspect she’ll get anything she puts her mind to.  Determined, that one.

I learned that $50 is too much to pay for chicken wings to feed twenty men at a church function.  People do not love wings as much as I do.  I can’t see why…

I’ve learned that I need to go with my gut on ventures I believe are successful.  Naysayers really don’t help me in moving forward.  They’re good to listen to, but bad for momentum.

I’ve learned that losing weight is hard.

I’ve learned that I’m happiest where I am right now.  I’m a bit of a daydreamer when it comes to “what ifs” and “could haves”, but really, I love my life just as it is.  Now, all I need is a raise.